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- To: Steve Alexander <salexand(--nospam--at)el.nec.com>, Carole Bell <102457.1501(--nospam--at)compuserve.com>, Fran Bellet <fbellet(--nospam--at)netapp.com>, Jim Bennett <bennett(--nospam--at)purple.tmn.com>, Robin and Bennett <RobinBen(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>, Michael Cloud <75124.3677(--nospam--at)compuserve.com>, Bill & Cynthia <72500.3145(--nospam--at)compuserve.com>, Joe Dehn <jwd3(--nospam--at)dehnbase.fidonet.org>, "Ed, Lillian and Warren" <blyth(--nospam--at)proaxis.com>, Felix <felix(--nospam--at)fields.com>, SEAOC Forum <seaoc(--nospam--at)seaoc.org>, Janet <midified(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>, Bob and Kathy <bobeaux(--nospam--at)ix.netcom.com>, Cullene Lang <cullene(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>, LauraMcFadden <reg66chair(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>, Gail Lightfoot <LPCChair(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>, Margaret <mob(--nospam--at)icess.ucsb.edu>, June Miller <junius12(--nospam--at)best.com>, Patty <pobrien(--nospam--at)cellnet.com>, Alan Paul <Portal(--nospam--at)mindspring.com>, Gayle Pergamit <gayle(--nospam--at)pergamit.com>, Chris Peterson <peterson(--nospam--at)foresight.org>, Bev Pomeroy <bevp(--nospam--at)bev.com>, Rose <rashford(--nospam--at)mail.arc.nasa.gov>, the Roubals <roubal(--nospam--at)cwnet.com>, Phil Ryals <pryals7(--nospam--at)home.com>, Aaron Starr <Astarr101(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>, Steph <corchnoy(--nospam--at)hydrogen.UCSC.EDU>, Susie <lbpeep(--nospam--at)netcom.com>, Albert Turner <albert(--nospam--at)deltanet.com>, Richard Venable <lpcnews(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>, Vic Wagner <vawjr08(--nospam--at)ibm.net>, Dan Wiener <dpwiener(--nospam--at)AOL.COM>
- Subject: Fwd: News Funnies
- From: "Kathleen A. O'Brien" <wildwoman1(--nospam--at)compuserve.com>
- Date: Sun, 5 Apr 1998 23:04:39 -0400
---------- Forwarded Message ---------- From: Nancy Block, INTERNET:nancb(--nospam--at)jurassic.eng.Sun.COM TO: Leonard Rickard, INTERNET:lrickard(--nospam--at)slip.net (unknown), INTERNET:jcumming(--nospam--at)netcom.com (unknown), INTERNET:netos-writers(--nospam--at)johnson.eng.Sun.COM (unknown), wildwoman1 DATE: 4/2/98 5:28 PM RE: Fwd: News Funnies Sender: nancb(--nospam--at)jurassic.eng.Sun.COM Received: from mercury.Sun.COM (mercury.Sun.COM [22.214.171.124]) by dub-img-10.compuserve.com (8.8.6/8.8.6/2.10) with SMTP id RAA05579 for <wildwoman1(--nospam--at)compuserve.com>; Thu, 2 Apr 1998 17:28:18 -0500 (EST) Received: from sunmail1.Sun.COM ([126.96.36.199]) by mercury.Sun.COM (SMI-8.6/mail.byaddr) with SMTP id OAA23848; Thu, 2 Apr 1998 14:27:57 -0800 Received: from jurassic.eng.sun.com by sunmail1.Sun.COM (SMI-8.6/SMI-4.1) id OAA26748; Thu, 2 Apr 1998 14:27:53 -0800 Received: from dryad.eng.sun.com (dryad [188.8.131.52]) by jurassic.eng.sun.com (8.9.0.Beta4+Sun/8.9.0.Beta4) with SMTP id OAA04083; Thu, 2 Apr 1998 14:27:53 -0800 (PST) Received: by dryad.eng.sun.com (SMI-8.6/SMI-SVR4) id OAA24712; Thu, 2 Apr 1998 14:28:32 -0800 Date: Thu, 2 Apr 1998 14:28:32 -0800 From: nancb(--nospam--at)jurassic.eng.Sun.COM (Nancy Block) Message-Id: <199804022228.OAA24712(--nospam--at)dryad.eng.sun.com> To: netos-writers(--nospam--at)johnson.eng.Sun.COM, jcumming(--nospam--at)netcom.com, lrickard(--nospam--at)slip.net, wildwoman1(--nospam--at)compuserve.com Subject: Fwd: News Funnies X-Sun-Charset: US-ASCII >>> AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked >>>"intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. >>>Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. >>> >>> >>> An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and >>>forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The >>>kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. >>> >>> A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for >>>giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated >>>the school's "zero-tolerance" policy--not to be confused with the >>>"zero-common sense" policy. >>> >>> >>> Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that >>> destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly >>>installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last >>>year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole >>>my new security system." >>> >>> A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the >>>money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied >>>up the store clerk and worked the counter himself. He had been at it >>>for three hours when police showed up. >>> >>> More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship badly >>>enough to pay $10,000 a piece for the first tourist flight to Mars. >>>According to the Italian police, the would-be space travelers were told >>>to spend their "next vacation on Mars, amid the splendors of ruined >>>temples and painted deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis to oasis >>>and enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals and >>>marvel at the views. Tripsto the moon also available." Authorities >>>believe that the con men running this scam made off with over six >>>million dollars... >>> >>> In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his >>>college degree for his murder of three people. "There are too many >>>business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all >>>this may not have happened." >>> >>> Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just >>>couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man >>>in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll >>>shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" >>> >>> A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack >>>designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The >>>robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was >>>running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around," said >>>police spokesman Mike Carey, "with an explosion taking place inside his >>>pants." >>> >>> A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her >>> contractions are only two minutes apart!" >>> >>> "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. >>> >>> "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!" >>> >>> >>> In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up >>>a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a >>>finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand >>>in his pocket. >>>> >> > ------End forward message--------------------------- ----- End Included Message -----
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