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Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

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----Forwarded Message(s)----

Hi,

  This is forwarded from a graduate of the U. of Oklahoma Chemical
Engineering Dept., citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test
questions for his final exam of 1997.  Dr. Schlambaugh is known
for asking questions on his finals like:  "Why do airplanes fly?"
    
In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat, and Mass Transfer II" final exam
question was:  "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support  your
answer with proof."
     
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law or some variant.  One student, however wrote the following:
     
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some
mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass.  
So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are
souls leaving?  I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
that exist in the world today.  Some religions say that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there are
more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all  people and all souls go to
Hell.

With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the
number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change in the volume of Hell.  Boyle's Law states that in order


for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio
of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[A1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

[A2]  Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?  If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa
Banyan during freshman year, that 'It'll be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you,' and taking into account that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be
true;.....thus, Hell is exothermic."
 
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A. >><-
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