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Re: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

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That's what you call "grace under pressure".

-----Original Message-----
From: Roger Turk <73527.1356(--nospam--at)>
To: SEAOC <seaoc(--nospam--at)>
Date: 17 April, 1998 11:43 AM
Subject: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

>----Forwarded Message(s)----
>  This is forwarded from a graduate of the U. of Oklahoma Chemical
>Engineering Dept., citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test
>questions for his final exam of 1997.  Dr. Schlambaugh is known
>for asking questions on his finals like:  "Why do airplanes fly?"
>In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat, and Mass Transfer II" final exam
>question was:  "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support  your
>answer with proof."
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
>Law or some variant.  One student, however wrote the following:
>"First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some
>mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass.
>So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are
>souls leaving?  I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>to hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
>that exist in the world today.  Some religions say that if you are
>a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there are
>more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more
>one religion, we can project that all  people and all souls go to
>With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the
>number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
>rate of change in the volume of Hell.  Boyle's Law states that in
>for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio
>of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
>[A1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
>which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
>increase until all Hell breaks loose.
>[A2]  Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
>increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
>drop until Hell freezes over.
>So which is it?  If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa
>Banyan during freshman year, that 'It'll be a cold day in Hell
>before I sleep with you,' and taking into account that I still have
>succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be
>true;.....thus, Hell is exothermic."
>The student, Tim Graham, got the only A. >><-
>----End Forwarded Message(s)----