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Humor: The Dog Fight

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     At the height of the arms race, the Americans and Russians realized 
     that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up 
     the whole world.
     One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with
     one dog fight.  They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog 
     in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to 
     dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
     The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler; then
     bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves.  They selected
     the largest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed its siblings,
     and gave it all the milk.  Then they fed that pup steroids and, with 
     the finest trainers for the next five years, came up with the most 
     vicious hellhound the world had ever seen.  Its cage had steel bars 
     that were five inches thick, and nobody dared to get near it.
     When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a
     strange animal.  It was a nine-foot long Dachshund.  Everyone felt 
     sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this 
     dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.
     When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage and
     slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled 
     and leaped out of its cage and charged the American dachshund.  
     But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the
     Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite!
     There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
     The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in
     disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened.  We had 
     our best people working for five years with the meanest Dobermans and
     Rottweilers in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves."
     "That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic
     surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a