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Bill Gates' Business

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1. You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to
 accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.
 2. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would
 constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let
 others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how
 good it is.
 3. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set
 the oven using these keystrokes: \mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat// Then
 enter: <ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
 4. If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven
 will set itself and cook the dinner. Be forewarned that Microsoft
 dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted.  
 5. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter
 <ms.nodamned.good/tryagain\again/again.crap. This process may have to be
 repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If
 this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor.
 6. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger
 than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which
 are empty. These are for future menu items.
 7. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade
 your equipment.
 8. Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
 chicken variety is currently produced.
 9. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will
 explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is
 all you really need.
 10. Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of
 their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family
 11. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only
 in Microsoft approved packaging.
 12. Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However,
 that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get
 thrilled in advance.
 13. Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the
 freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a
 bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway. 
 P.S. Make yourself confortable and send any comments you'll have.