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New creation

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From:	INTERNET:pryals7(--nospam--at)home.com, INTERNET:pryals7(--nospam--at)home.com
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	Terrie Pace, INTERNET:TAPace(--nospam--at)email.msn.com
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	Bob Erickson, INTERNET:Bob.Erickson(--nospam--at)CWI.CABLEW.COM
	"Kate O'Brien", wildwoman1
DATE:	5/2/98 2:24 AM

RE:	New creation

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Subject: New creation
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In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  Quickly, God was
faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. God was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied
with the cease and desist order for the earthly part.

Then God said, "Let there be light!"

Immediately, the officials demanded to know how the light would be made. Would
there be strip mining?  What about thermal pollution?  God explained that the
light would come from a large ball of fire.

God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke
would result from the ball of fire, and that he would obtain a building permit
and to conserve energy, He would have the light out half the time.

God agreed and offered to call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night".  The
officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plant yielding seed, and fruit
trees bearing fruit."

The EPA agreed, so long as only native seed was used.

Then God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living Creatures and let
birds fly above the earth."

The officials pointed out that this would require approval from the Department
of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubon Society.

Everything was okay until God said the project would be completed in six days.

The officials said it would take at least two hundred days to review the
applications and the impact statement. After that there would be a public
hearing. Then there would be ten to twelve months before...

At this point God created Hell.