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Warranty Card

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>This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
>employee there who obviously has a sense of humor.  The company, of  course,
>does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web department take it down
>immediately.
>--------------------------------------------------------- >
>
>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
>protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
>warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
>required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best
>meet your needs and desires.
>1.	[_] Mr.  [_] Mrs.  [_] Ms.  [_] Miss  [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_]
>Classified  [_] Other
>First Name: ..................................................... 
>Initial: ........
>Last Name: ...................................................... 
>Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
>Code Name:  ...................................................... 
>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ...........  ...........  ..........
>
>2.	Which model aircraft did you purchase? 
>[_] F-14 Tomcat
>[_] F-15 Eagle
>[_] F-16 Falcon
>[_] F-117A Stealth (not produced by McDonnell-Douglas)
>[_] Classified
>
>3.  	Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):   19......./......./.......
>4.  	Serial Number: ................................................. 
>5.  	Please check where this product was purchased: 
>[_] Received as gift / aid package
>[_] Catalog showroom
>[_] Independent arms broker
>[_] Mail order
>[_] Discount store
>[_] Government surplus
>[_] Classified
>
>6.	Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
>have just purchased:
>[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>[_] Store display
>[_] Espionage
>[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally 
>[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>[_] Was attacked by one
>
>7.	Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
>purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>[_] Style / appearance
>[_] Speed / maneuverability
>[_] Price / value
>[_] Comfort / convenience
>[_] Kickback / bribe
>[_] Recommended by salesperson
>[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>[_] Backroom politics
>[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
>8.	Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
>[_] North America
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Central / South America
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Aircraft carrier
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Europe
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Africa
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Asia / Far East
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Misc. Third World countries
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Classified
>[_] Iraq
>
>9.	Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in
>the near future:
>[_] Color TV
>[_] VCR
>[_] ICBM
>[_] Killer Satellite
>[_] CD Player
>[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
>[_] Space Shuttle
>[_] Home Computer
>[_] Nuclear Weapon
>
>10.	How would you describe yourself or your organization?
>(Check all that apply:)
>[_] Communist / Socialist
>[_] Terrorist
>[_] Crazed
>[_] Neutral
>[_] Democratic
>[_] Dictatorship
>[_] Corrupt
>[_] Primitive / Tribal
>
>11.	How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>[_]  Deficit spending
>[_] Cash
>[_] Suitcases of cocaine
>[_] Oil revenues
>[_] Personal check
>[_] Credit card
>[_] Ransom money
>[_] Traveler's check
>
>12.	Your occupation
>[_] Homemaker
>[_] Sales / marketing
>[_] Revolutionary
>[_] Clerical
>[_] Mercenary
>[_] Tyrant
>[_] Middle management
>[_] Eccentric billionaire
>[_] Defense Minister / General
>[_] Retired
>[_] Student
>
>13.	To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
>interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on
>a regular basis:
>[_] Golf
>[_] Boating / sailing
>[_] Sabotage
>[_] Running / jogging
>[_] Propaganda / disinformation > >
>[_] Destabilization / overthrow > >
>[_] Default on loans
>[_] Gardening
>[_] Crafts
>[_] Black market / smuggling
>[_] Collectibles / collections 
>[_] Watching sports on TV
>[_] Wines
>[_] Interrogation / torture > >
>[_] Household pets
>[_] Crushing rebellions
>[_] Espionage / reconnaissance > >
>[_] Fashion clothing
>[_] Border disputes
>[_] Mutually Assured Destruction 
>
>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
>will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
>better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
>special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
>mysterious consortia.  As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be
>registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?  Please write to:
>
>McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
>Marketing Department
>Military Aerospace Division