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Smarter Engineers!!

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This humorous contribution was sent by my son, a young mechanical
engineer who is currently running 100,000 DOF FEA models of heart valves
in Austin, Texas:

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a
whole, because the general speed and health of the whole keeps improving
by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off
brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. The results of this in-depth epidemiological study verifies and
validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and engineering
performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving
university and getting married, most engineers cannot keep up with the
performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick to the
strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the
intellectual levels that they achieved during their university years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological
edge we should not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars! Quaff
that beer! Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you
shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Be all that you
can be!  Drink all that you can drink!
--- Anonymous Brainchild