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Letter to Thomas Jefferson [humor]

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I thought that this was somewhat similar to comments that we sometime receive from our local bureaucrats. Smile :)


From: 	HAND![:smiles(--nospam--at)]
Sent: 	Tuesday, July 07, 1998 1:20 AM
To: 	Recipients - HAND
Subject: 	Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh #0808

Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh is:

leftover things from 4th of July...

RevTony sends 'a bit of history with this little known letter'

Letter to Thomas Jefferson

       The Court of King George III
       London, England

       July 10, 1776

       Mr. Thomas Jefferson
       c/o The Continental Congress
       Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

       Dear Mr. Jefferson:

       We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest.
       Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of
       your statements do merit serious consideration.  Unfortunately, the
       Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications
       for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for
       further refinement.
       The questions which follow might assist you in your process of

       1.  In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature
           and Nature's God."  What are these laws?  In what way are they the
           criteria on which you base your central arguments?  Please
           with citations from the recent literature.

       2.  In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind."
           Whose polling data are you using?  Without specific evidence, it
           seems to  us the "opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion.

       3.  You hold certain truths to be "self-evident."  Could you please
           elaborate.  If they are as evident as you claim then it should
           not be difficult for you to locate the appropriate supporting

       4.  "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be the
           goals of  your proposal.  These are not measurable goals.
           If you were to  say that  "among these is the ability to
           sustain an average life expectancy in six of the 13 colonies
           of at least 55 years, and to enable newspapers in the colonies
           to print news without outside interference, and to
           raise the average income of the colonists by 10 percent in the
           next 10 years," these could be measurable goals.  Please clarify.

       5.  You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes
           destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to
           alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Government...."
           Have you weighed  this assertion against all the alternatives?
          What are the trade-off considerations?

       6.  Your description of the existing situation is quite extensive.
           Such a long list of grievances should precede the statement
           of goals, not follow it.  Your problem statement needs improvement.

       7.  Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed at all.
           You  state that the colonies "ought to be Free and Independent
           States," and that they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to the
           British  Crown." Who or what must change to achieve this
           objective?  In what way must they change?  What specific
           steps will you take to overcome the  resistance?
           How long will it take?  We have found that a little foresight in
           these  areas helps to prevent careless errors later on.
           How cost- effective are your strategies?

       8.  Who among the list of signatories will be responsible for
           implementing  your strategy?  Who conceived it?  Who provided
           theoretical research?  Who will constitute the advisory
           Please submit an organization chart and vitas of the principal

       9.  You must include an evaluation design.  We have been requiring
         this since Queen Anne's War.

       10. What impact will your problem have?  Your failure to include any
           assessment of this inspires little confidence in the long-range
           prospects of your undertaking.

       11. Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart, itemized
           budget, and manpower utilization matrix.

       We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your
"Declaration of Independence."  We welcome the submission of your revised
proposal.  Our due date for unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776.  Ten
copies with original signatures will be required.


Management Analyst to the British Crown


HAND! Have A Nice Day!


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