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FW: Comprehending Engineers (humor)

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Title: FW: Comprehending Engineers (humor)

After some consideration I thought this would not be inappropriate. Enjoy or delete.

> Comprehending Engineers, --Take One
> **********************************
>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers.  The engineer fumed,
> "What's with these guys?  We must have been waiting for 15  minutes!"
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
> The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper.  Let's have a word with
> him."
> "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us ? They're rather slow,
> aren't they?"
> The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
> They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
> always let them play for free anytime."
> The group was silent for a moment.
> The pastor said, "That's so sad.
> I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
> The doctor said, "Good idea.  And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
> buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
> The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

> Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
> ***********************************
> There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things
> mechanical.  After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily
> retired.  Several years later the company contacted him regarding a
> seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their
> multi-million dollar machines.
> They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to
> no avail.  In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had
> solved so many of their problems in the past.
> The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.  He spent a day studying the
> huge machine.  At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a
> particular component of the machine and proudly stated,
> "This is where your problem is".
> The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company
> received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.
> They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded
> briefly:
>
>                    One chalk mark                       $1
>                    Knowing where to put it         $49,999
>
> It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
>

> Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
> **********************************
>
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
>
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
> *********************************
>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
>
> The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
> *********************************
>
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
> The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
> foundation for an enduring relationship.
> The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
> and mystery he found there.
> The engineer said, "I like both."
> "Both?"
> Engineer: "Yeah.   If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume
> you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
> some work done."

> Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
> ********************************
>
> An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides
> up on a shiny new motorcycle.
> "Where did you get such a great bike?"asked the first.
> The second engineer replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my
> own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.   She threw the
> bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said 'Take what you want.'"
> The second engineer nodded approvingly "Good choice; the clothes probably
> wouldn't have fit."
>
> ****************************************************************************