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Re: Engineering (science) joke

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In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new
elements for the Periodic Table.  Among the best of the batch:

Lb
Limbaughium
The heaviest known element. It possesses an everexpanding mass.  Very
white.  Acidic.  Emits heat but no light.  Instantly polarizes all
elements that come in contact with it.  Repels protons and electrons; attracts
only morons.

Bc
Billclintium
With a slick appearance and slimy texture, this element undergoes a
series of interesting changes when in hot water.

Eh
Canadium
Similar to Americium but a little denser.  Much more rigid.  Often
called Boron.

Pc
lnnofensium
Precisely equal numbers of electrons, protons, neutrons, leptons, quarks.
Completely inert, utterly useless, but smells like a rose.

Nt
Newtium
Extreme irritant. Carries a strong negative charge.  Does not possess
magnetic properties. Can be purchased cheaply.

Vp
Quaylium
Einsteinium it ain't.


Ps
Budweisium
Has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable from water.

Cb
Cabmium
Found in abundance, except when needed.  Exists in two states, in motion
and at rest.  When in motion, it cannot be stopped, no matter what you
do. Cabmium has a charge associated with it.  The charge is variable;
scientists have not determined the formula for calculating it.

Po
Politicium
Contains a great deal of brass.  Similar to radon in that it can reach
lethal concentrations in the House.

Cg
Congress
Atomic number, 535.  Can never be found in a solution.

Sn
Snot
Bonds forever with corduroy.

S
Kryptonite
Kills Superman. That's it. That's all it does.