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RE: Engineering (science) joke

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> ----------
> From: 	CLaines(--nospam--at)aol.com[SMTP:CLaines(--nospam--at)aol.com]
> Reply To: 	seaint(--nospam--at)seaint.org
> Sent: 	Tuesday, February 09, 1999 10:16 AM
> To: 	seaint(--nospam--at)seaint.org
> Subject: 	Re: Engineering (science) joke
> 
> 
> In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new
> elements for the Periodic Table.  Among the best of the batch:
> 
> Lb
> Limbaughium
> The heaviest known element. It possesses an everexpanding mass.  Very
> white.  Acidic.  Emits heat but no light.  Instantly polarizes all
> elements that come in contact with it.  Repels protons and electrons;
> attracts
> only morons.
> 
> Bc
> Billclintium
> With a slick appearance and slimy texture, this element undergoes a
> series of interesting changes when in hot water.
> 
> Eh
> Canadium
> Similar to Americium but a little denser.  Much more rigid.  Often
> called Boron.
> 
> Pc
> lnnofensium
> Precisely equal numbers of electrons, protons, neutrons, leptons,
> quarks.
> Completely inert, utterly useless, but smells like a rose.
> 
> Nt
> Newtium
> Extreme irritant. Carries a strong negative charge.  Does not possess
> magnetic properties. Can be purchased cheaply.
> 
> Vp
> Quaylium
> Einsteinium it ain't.
> 
> 
> Ps
> Budweisium
> Has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable from water.
> 
> Cb
> Cabmium
> Found in abundance, except when needed.  Exists in two states, in
> motion
> and at rest.  When in motion, it cannot be stopped, no matter what you
> do. Cabmium has a charge associated with it.  The charge is variable;
> scientists have not determined the formula for calculating it.
> 
> Po
> Politicium
> Contains a great deal of brass.  Similar to radon in that it can reach
> lethal concentrations in the House.
> 
> Cg
> Congress
> Atomic number, 535.  Can never be found in a solution.
> 
> Sn
> Snot
> Bonds forever with corduroy.
> 
> S
> Kryptonite
> Kills Superman. That's it. That's all it does.
> 
> 
>