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fieldmam(--nospam--at)bentonrea.com writes:
Hi Friends, I got this from my sister, Joan, and laughed until I cried, hope
you enjoy it as much. Hugs, Cathie
 >
 >Subject: Real Stuff & Anagrams>
 >
 >>This is a compilation of actual (US) student GCSE answers... these
 >>>>     are exams that are taken at age 16.
 >>>>-------
 >>>>
 >>>>     The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them
 >>>>     we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is
 >>>>     a female moth.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving
 >>>>     people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose
 >>>>     of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic
 >>>>     decline.
 >>>>
 >>>>     In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the
 >>>>     biscuits, and threw the java.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls
 >>>>     people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very
 >>>>     long.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.
 >>>>     The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was
 >>>>     going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
 >>>>
 >>>>     Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by
 >>>>     playing the fiddle to them.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard
 >>>>     Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be
 >>>>     hanged twice for the same offense.
 >>>>
 >>>>     In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest
 >>>>     writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems
 >>>>     and verses and also wrote literature.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an
 >>>>     apple while standing on his son's head.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a
 >>>>     success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all
 >>>>     shouted "hurrah."
 >>>>
 >>>>     It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
 >>>>     invented removable type and the Bible. Another important
 >>>>     invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a
 >>>>     historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started
 >>>>     smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a
 >>>>     100 foot clipper.
 >>>>
 >>>>     The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William
 >>>>     Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his
 >>>>     birthday. He never made much money and is famous only
 >>>>     because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and
 >>>>     hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet
 >>>>     are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be
 >>>>     laid by Juliet.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel
 >>>>     Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was
 >>>>     John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and
 >>>>     he wrote Paradise Regained.
 >>>>
 >>>>     During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus
 >>>>     was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing
 >>>>     about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta,
 >>>>     and the Santa Fe.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called
 >>>>     Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the
 >>>>     settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain
 >>>>     John Smith was responsible for all this.
 >>>>
 >>>>     One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put
 >>>>     tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels
 >>>>     through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the
 >>>>     War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the
 >>>>     original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas
 >>>>     Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers
 >>>>     of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered
 >>>>     electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A
 >>>>     horse divided against itself cannot stand.". Franklin died in
 >>>>     1790 and is still dead.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure
 >>>>     domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed
 >>>>     the right to keep bare arms.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent.
 >>>>     Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin
 >>>>     which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the
 >>>>     slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night
 >>>>     of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in
 >>>>     his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The
 >>>>     believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane
 >>>>     actor.
 >>>>
 >>>>     This ruined Booth's career.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable
 >>>>     time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called
 >>>>     Candy.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable
 >>>>     in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had
 >>>>     a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old
 >>>>     spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to
 >>>>     the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world
 >>>>     and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half
 >>>>     English. He was very large.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf
 >>>>     he rote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when
 >>>>     everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and
 >>>>     later died for this.
 >>>>
 >>>>     The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened
 >>>>     and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to
 >>>>     inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she
 >>>>     couldn't have any children.
 >>>>
 >>>>     The sun never set on the British Empire because the British
 >>>>     Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63
 >>>>     years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death
 >>>>     was the final event which ended her reign.
 >>>>
 >>>>     The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
 >>>>     inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started
 >>>>     reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused
 >>>>     a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented
 >>>>     the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
 >>>>
 >>>>     Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin
 >>>>     was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman
 >>>>     Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx
 >>>>     brothers.
 >>>>
 >>>>     The First World War, caused by the assignation of the
 >>>>     Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals
 >>>>     of human history.
 >>
 >>
 >>Anagrams...
 >>An Anagram, as you know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or
 >>rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are
 >>exceptionally clever. Someone out there either as way too much time to
 >>waste
 >>or is deadly at Scrabble.
 >>
 >>
 >>Dormitory.................................... Dirty Room
 >>Evangelist.................................. Evil's Agent
 >>Desperation................................ A Rope Ends It
 >>The Morse Code.......................... Here Come Dots
 >>Slot Machines............................ Cash Lost in 'em
 >>Animosity.................................... Is No Amity
 >>Mother-in-law............................ Woman Hitler
 >>Snooze Alarms............................ Alas! No More Z's
 >>Alec Guinness............................ Genuine Class
 >>Semolina...................................... Is No Meal
 >>The Public Art Galleries...... Large Picture Halls, I Bet
 >>A Decimal Point........................ I'm a Dot in Place
 >>The Earthquakes........................ That Queer Shake
 >>Eleven plus two........................ Twelve plus one
 >>Contradiction............................ Accord not in it
 >>Princess Diana.......................... Ascend in Paris.. (freaky,
 >>huh..)
 >>
 >>This one's truly amazing:
 >>"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."..
 >>- Neil Armstrong
 >>
 >>The Anagram:
 >>"Thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On
 >>to
 >>Mars!"
 >>
 >>And for the grand finale:
 >>" To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the
 >>mind
 >>to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
 >>- William Shakespeare
 >>
 >>And the Anagram:
 >>"In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero,
 >>Hamlet,
 >>queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten."
 >>
 >>
 >
 >
 > >>



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