Return to index: [Subject] [Thread] [Date] [Author]

Fw: You know you work for the government if ...

[Subject Prev][Subject Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
 
You know you work for the Government if:
 
WheYou've sat at the same desk for 4 years and gone through three major reorganizations.
The sign with your Office Symbol outside the door is attached with Velcro.
Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
You get really excited about that 2% pay raise.
Your biggest loss when the LAN crashes is that you lose your best jokes.
Free food left over from retirement luncheons is your main staple.
Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
Communication is something your "associates" are having problems with.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Authorized sick leave is defined as "can't walk or you're in the hospital"
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
 When 100% of your time means 20 hours.
You work 200 hours for the $100 On-The-Spot award (before taxes) and jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cubicle.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an
opportunity for you."
Vacation is something you roll over to next year or just "lose at year end.
Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cubicle.
Those "special projects" are more like "drive-by assignments.
You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
You read this entire list, agreed with every sentence nd are mentally making the list of friends to forward it to.