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Brief Engineer Humor

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It has been said that engineers are not true professionals (like doctors or
lawyers) because there are almost no engineering jokes floating around.
Winding down another busy week, I offer the following brief humor as
evidence that we really are members of an honored profession!

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the
wrong way.