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> The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
> > >
> > >
> > > FREE PUPPIES:
> > > =BD COCKER SPANIEL -
> > > =BD SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
> > > ------------------------------
> > > GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
> > > NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
> > > -------------------------------------
> > > 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
> > > ----------------------------
> > > AMANA WASHER $100.
> > > OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
> > > ------------------------------
> > > SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
> > > ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
> > > -------------------------------
> > > 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
> > > 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
> > > ------------------------------
> > > TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS
> > > OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO,
> > > EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
> > > ------------------------------
> > > FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
> > > 20 YR. WARRANTY.
> > > LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
> > > -----------------------------------
> > > FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS
> > > WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
> > > -----------------------------------
> > > NORDIC TRACK $300
> > > HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBIE
> > > -------------------------------------
> > > BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
> > > "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
> > > --------------------------------------
> > > SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
> > > --------------------------------------
> > > HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
> > > "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
> > > ----------------------------------------
> > > HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
> > > -----------------------------------------
> > > GEORGIA PEACHES
> > > CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
> > > ------------------------------------------
> > > NICE PARACHUTE:
> > > NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
> > > -------------------------------------------
> > > TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
> > > WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
> > > STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
> > > ---------------------------------------------
> > > EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
> > > QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
> > > ---------------------------------------------
> > > OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
> > > AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
> > > -----------------------------------------------
> > > JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
> > > MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER
> > > $300.
> > > ----------------------------------------------
> > > LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
> > > ---------------------------------------------
> > > ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
> > > FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
> > > --------------------------------------------
> > > OPEN HOUSE
> > > BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
> > > FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
> > > ---------------------------------------
> > > FOR SALE BY OWNER
> > > Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
> > > Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No
> > > longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.