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Always Practice Earthquake Safety

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I interrupt this Guitar and Science Fiction Listserv to pass along a bit of
levity that arrived in my mailbox this morning:
 

Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a
disaster can mean the difference between life and death.  Here are some tips
to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:

~ Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the
plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and
saying, "I told you so."

~ To minimize property loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.

~ Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of
time.

~ Look out your window often.  If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse
moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, quickly step either to the
right or to the left.

~ For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority
of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the
tremors themselves.  Instead, it was from the raging, out-of-control fires
that consumed most of the city.

~ A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake.  Eat, sleep, and work
in doorways.

~ Be sure to mail your house-insurance payments a full five business days
before a major earthquake strikes.

~ In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a
table, your boss, or your spouse.

~ If you are caught in a major earthquake in Southern California and are
part of the entertainment industry, take a moment or two to reflect on how
grossly you've wasted your life.

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