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RE: Signs of Spring

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Title: RE: Signs of Spring
While Stan has a PGA course on the other side of his creek 
 
Dennis:
 
I wish you were correct.  There are only houses and streets, not golf courses, on the other side of the creek.  The PGA touring pro and fellow snake killer lives in one of them.  Between his house and mine, the creek attracts children, dogs, stray cats, cottonmouth snakes, even larger rat snakes, rats, lizards, frogs, armadillos, opossums, jackrabbits, raccoons, lots of squirrels, mallards (no offense, Jonathan), egrets, wayward seagulls, crows, hawks, carpenter ants, fire ants, termites, killer (Africanized) bees, scorpions, tarantulas, brown recluse spiders, and who knows what else.
 
I don't much like it when the frogs, ducks, and snakes try to take over my pool or hot tub, or when the raccoons try to tear off my shingles, but I constrain my murderous ways to the snakes, rats, spiders, termites, carpenter ants and fire ants.  I kill the snakes and spiders because they are dangerous to humans.  I kill the rats because they get up in my attic and keep me up all night.  To be more accurate, I catch the rats and try to train them.  Specifically, I endeavor to give them underwater swimming lessons.  So far, after more than a dozen students, not one has successfully passed the first lesson.  On average, a caged rat can swim underwater for approximately 23 seconds, depending on weight.
 
Otherwise, I live more-or-less peacefully with all of these critters in the midst of a suburb of 280,000 in a metropolitan area in excess of 5,000,000.  I can't even imagine what country living might be like!
 
Have a good weekend, y'all.
 
Stan Caldwell
Dallas, Texas 
Go Stars!!
Go Mavs!!