Return to index: [Subject] [Thread] [Date] [Author]

Re: Valentines Day Mathematics

[Subject Prev][Subject Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
----- Original Message -----
From: "Caldwell, Stan" <scaldwell(--nospam--at)halff.com>
To: "'SEAINT Listserv'" <seaint(--nospam--at)seaint.org>
Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2002 9:13 AM
Subject: Valentines Day Mathematics


> ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
>
> Smart man + smart woman = romance
> Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
>
> SHOPPING MATH
>
> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
>
> GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
>
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
> HAPPINESS
>
> To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
> To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand
> her at all.
>
> LONGEVITY
>
> Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
> willing to die.
>
> MEMORY
>
> A married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
> remembering the same thing.
>
> APPEARANCE
>
> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
> DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>
> A woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything a man says after that
> is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> COMPREHENSION
>
> There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage
> and after marriage.
>
> HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
>
> Old relatives used to come up to a friend of mine at weddings, poking him
in
> the ribs and telling him, "You're next."  They stopped after he started
> doing the same thing to them at funerals.
>
>
> ******* ****** ******* ******** ******* ******* ******* ***
> *   Read list FAQ at: http://www.seaint.org/list_FAQ.asp
> *
> *   This email was sent to you via Structural Engineers
> *   Association of Southern California (SEAOSC) server. To
> *   subscribe (no fee) or UnSubscribe, please go to:
> *
> *   http://www.seaint.org/sealist1.asp
> *
> *   Questions to seaint-ad(--nospam--at)seaint.org. Remember, any email you
> *   send to the list is public domain and may be re-posted
> *   without your permission. Make sure you visit our web
> *   site at: http://www.seaint.org
> ******* ****** ****** ****** ******* ****** ****** ********


******* ****** ******* ******** ******* ******* ******* ***
*   Read list FAQ at: http://www.seaint.org/list_FAQ.asp
*
*   This email was sent to you via Structural Engineers
*   Association of Southern California (SEAOSC) server. To
*   subscribe (no fee) or UnSubscribe, please go to:
*
*   http://www.seaint.org/sealist1.asp
*
*   Questions to seaint-ad(--nospam--at)seaint.org. Remember, any email you
*   send to the list is public domain and may be re-posted
*   without your permission. Make sure you visit our web
*   site at: http://www.seaint.org
******* ****** ****** ****** ******* ****** ****** ********