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RE: Holiday Differences [humor]
- To: <seaint(--nospam--at)seaint.org>
- Subject: RE: Holiday Differences [humor]
- From: "Bill Allen" <T.W.Allen(--nospam--at)cox.net>
- Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2003 13:45:25 -0800
You forgot one:
Democrats want to take my money while
Republicans want to take my rights.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Peace,
Tolerance and Security for all.
From: Caldwell, Stan
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003
To: SEAINT Listserv
Subject: Holiday Differences
I have decided to stay out of the current globalization
debate [my opinion is already well-known], so this is simply an effort to add a
bit of much-needed holiday levity to the list. Please note that this is
offered only as humor, so there is not need for 2000-word responses!
* Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
* Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation
Army. Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to
panhandlers on the street.
* Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving
them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to
* When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."
* When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch
for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.
* Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do
Republicans, but they don't admit it.
* Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot
each other with dolls.
* Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard
with outdoor lights and Christmas displays. Democrats save their time and
money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people's lights.
* Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful
Life." Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die
* Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them
to make sure they are seen.
* Republicans wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the
festive season. Democrats do too, all year round.
* Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin
form letters about their families in their Christmas cards. Public
ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
* Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls."
Young Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by
a Reindeer." Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White
Christmas." Young Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is
* Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys
and Indians." Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians
* Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped
believing in Santa Claus. Democrats became Democrats because they
never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
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