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RE: Holiday Differences [humor]

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Wow Bill.  At first I thought "Bill's boss is a real a nimrod!", but then I thought "well maybe Bill was being sarcastic since I wasn't really following the thread that closely anyway, and he was actually making fun of one of his friends overly simplistic nickelodeon political view of the world".  In either case I feel compelled to reply.
 
Democrats want control of our rights wrapping the issues in the cloak of... "Democrats want to (only) take my money (for worthy social programs)" while...
 
Republicans, at the risk of appearing compassionless reject taking my money because "Republicans (really do not) want to take my rights (in the name of taking only the money)."
 
Bill, please pass this on to either your nimrod boss or nickelodeon friend(s) and help them escape that Laguna Beach Liberalism that has seriously deluded their sense of social well-being.
 
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to Bill Allen who may need a little less tolerance.
 
Keith De Lapp, P.E.
KDL Engineering
Sacramento, CA

 -----Original Message-----
From: Bill Allen [mailto:T.W.Allen(--nospam--at)cox.net]
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 1:45 PM
To: seaint(--nospam--at)seaint.org
Subject: RE: Holiday Differences [humor]

Stan –

 

You forgot one:

 

Democrats want to take my money while Republicans want to take my rights.

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Peace, Tolerance and Security for all.

 

Regards,

 

T. William (Bill) Allen, S.E. (CA #2607)

V/F (949) 248-8588

San Juan Capistrano, CA

http://members.cox.net/ballense/

-----Original Message-----
From:
Caldwell, Stan [mailto:scaldwell(--nospam--at)halff.com]
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 8:55 AM
To: SEAINT Listserv
Subject: Holiday Differences [humor]

 

I have decided to stay out of the current globalization debate [my opinion is already well-known], so this is simply an effort to add a bit of much-needed holiday levity to the list.  Please note that this is offered only as humor, so there is not need for 2000-word responses!

 

Merry Christmas, Y'all,

 

Stan R. Caldwell, P.E.

Dallas, Texas


 

* Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"  Democrats say "Happy Holidays!" 
  
* Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.  Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street. 
  
* Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.  Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.  
   
* When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.  Democrats ask for a "Bud." 
  
* When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.  Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television. 
  
* Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.  So do Republicans, but they don't admit it. 
  
* Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.  Democrats refuse to do so.  That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls. 
  
* Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.  Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people's lights. 
  
* Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."  Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."  Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard." 
  
* Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping.  Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts ... and reposition them to make sure they are seen. 
  
* Republicans wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season.  Democrats do too, all year round. 
  
* Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards.  Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again. 
  
* Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls."  Young Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."  Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."  Young Republicans' favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."  
   
* Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."  Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win. 
  
* Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus.  Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.