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On Dec 10, 2008, at 9:31 AM, Garner, Robert wrote:

  I could use some pills to understand ASCE wind provisions.

Watch out what you ask for. In Minnesota the story is told of Sven and Ole and the Smart Pills. Read and heed.

Ole was complaining bitterly into his beer about how hard it was to find work. 'All dose people are lookin' for is some damn brainiac, and I can never pass none o' dem tests they're always givin.' After an hour or two listening to Ole grouse and complain, Sven slipped out of the bar and re-filled a couple of empty aspirin bottles with rabbit droppings he'd found back of the dump. When he got back to the bar plopped the bottles in front of Ole. Both had fresh labels: 'Smart Pils ($5)'. 'Whatcha need, Ole, is smart pills, which I got right here. And they'll only cost ya five bucks a bottle. After two bottles you'll be passin' dose tests like like a regular Einstein.'

'Jeez, Sven, I dunno--seems like a lotta money. But I really wanna show dose smart-alecs down at the saw mill that I got what it takes.' And he hands Sven the ten bucks.

After a week, Ole runs into Sven at the gas station, and he doesn't look happy. 'Ya know what I think, Mr Sven Smart-Pills? I been takin' dose pills ya sold me, but yesterday when I looked real close and took a sniff it seems like dey ain't nothin' but rabbit sh¡t in a fancy bottle--not no kinda pills at all. Whaddya say about dat?'

Sven puts a friendly arm around Ole's shoulder and said, 'By gosh, Ole, it's only been a week and you're gettin' smarter already.'

Christopher Wright P.E. |"They couldn't hit an elephant at
chrisw(--nospam--at)   | this distance" (last words of Gen.
.......................................| John Sedgwick, Spotsylvania 1864)

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