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Re: OT: MONSTER.COM Has Given Me A Social Life!

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Bill:
 
Be honest, you surfed your way to one or more free porn sites and now you are paying the price.  Right?  Like South Carolina Governor Sanford, you need to come clean with full disclosure before you can expect any sympathy.
 
My spam solution is Postini, and after a wee bit of training it is just about perfect ... kind of like Texas, or Alberta!
 
My engineers are currently all earning their LEED accreditations.  Has anyone ever flunked such an easy test?  Many, as an antidote/offset for their new credentials, say that they now plan to buy Hummers or decades old muscle cars.  I am too close to retirement to seek LEED accreditation, but I did replace three complete HVAC systems in my house a month ago.  The new stuff is all variable speed 16+ SEER and pricey, but it works great.  I also changed out a few dozen perfectly good incandescent light bulbs with those goofy looking compact florescents.  Barak paid for part of both purchases.  Oh, I should also mention that I have been recycling everything imaginable for more than two decades.  I support conservation and sustainability, and I practice what I preach.  However, when it comes to climate change, my BS filter goes crazy and I hop off the bus.
 
Stan

On Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 3:16 PM, Bill Polhemus <bill(--nospam--at)polhemus.cc> wrote:

The Law of Unintended Consequences can work in your favor.

 

I have done a pretty good job over the years of training my email system to trap spam, reducing it to a very minor irritant over that time. Even though I have had this same email address for more than ten years now – and despite the ease with which spammers (may they die the sort of grisly death that the jihadists have in mind for all of us) can harvest my addy, their dubious communications typically find themselves going straight to the bit-bucket instantly upon crossing the portal from the Net to my cyber-driveway.

 

But I recently noticed that, having made my resume active on Monster.com a month or so ago, I inadvertently exposed my persona to an a couple of orders of magnitude more eager and voracious spammers (may their armpit hairs entangle themselves forever), of the type that are most certainly “non grata.”

 

And those spams are getting through!

 

But I’m trying to see the silver lining in this cloud of nuisance communication. I have discovered, for instance, that:

 

1)      Many young, vivacious (nay, concupiscent) young women are actively SEARCHING FOR ME on the ‘net, and by making a modest investment I can discover their names, addresses, phone numbers, employment prospects, venereal medical histories and the narrow range of their vocabularies from the comfort of my desk!

2)      A marginally smaller – though even more eager – number of such women are TRYING TO CONNECT WITH ME (presumably having performed a successful search, as mentioned above), and it is but a matter of a mouse click, acceptance of modest and reasonable terms of use, and the installation of several gigabytes of Trojans and spyware, for me to be transported into this new world of popularity. All major credit cards accepted (and an impressive number of minor ones as well).

3)      My educational opportunities are boundless, and all such can be earned online – often without actually taking any coursework, passing any examinations or learning anything new. I have thought about this and realize that, since time is money, it only makes sense that you can convert money directly into the time you would otherwise spend in learning. Rather than letting myself be unduly enervated by the prospect of underemployment in my current profession, I find that I can become a Medical Billing Specialist, Registered Nurse, or one of those cool CSI guys you see on TV. Certainly, having a “backup plan” for structural engineering is wise.

 

Just wanted to express my appreciation to those tireless (nay, “relentless”) computer nerds out there who have been busily engaged in defeating all my attempts at refusing their spam. Had it not been for them, I would not only be unemployed, but lonelier, and less well-trained.

 

I’ll see you folks later. I’ve just discovered that a career as a home-visit pet groomer could be mine, if I act now. And I have a cyber-date with “Sindy” lined up for this evening – well, her or one of her five roommates.

 

See ya in the funny papers!