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Re: Off Topic: Economic Recovery

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On Thu, Aug 6, 2009 at 4:09 PM, <ECVAl3(--nospam--at)> wrote:
> I believe you and your ilk have condemned Obama before he even got started.


Condemned?  Heck, condemned isn't nearly strong enough to describe the

Now, if only the following " breaking news" was actually true ...

Congress today announced that the position of President of
the United States of America will be outsourced to India as
of September 1, 2009. The move is being made in order to
save the President's $500,000 yearly salary and also a
record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3
months. It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to
the end of the President's term. "We believe this
is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge,"
stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot
remain competitive on the world stage with the current level
of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr.  Obama was informed by email this morning of his
termination. Preparations for the job move have been
underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices,
Mumbai, India, will assume the office of President as of
September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the United States
while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls,
NY, thus making him eligible for the position. He will
receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health
coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his
job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the
time difference between the US and India, he will be working
primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to
keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center,"
stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.

"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I
would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted
that while Mr.  Singh may not be fully aware of all the
issues involved in the office of President, this should not
be a problem, as President Obama had never been familiar
with the issues, either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him
to respond effectively to most topics of concern.
Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns
without having to understand the underlying issue at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the
spokesperson. "President Obama has used them
successfully for years, with the result that some people
actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary
until his final day of employment. Following a two-week
waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week
unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be
eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will
exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Obama has  been provided with the outplacement services
of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for
his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr.
Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due
to a lack of any successful work experience during his
lifetime. A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to
Obama's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well
as his special smile.

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