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Off-topic - I want to be a cartoonist!

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I love cartoons.
I wish I had the talent to draw.
I am verbose when I write.
I wish I could say what I want as briefly as possible and spare my readers much agony.
Cartooning would have given me great satisfaction.
But, with today's technology, should my inability to draw be a handicap?
Does any one know of a software utility that allows me to start cartooning instead of writing long emails that most people don't read any way?
What I am looking for is:
1)A library of human character outlines, male, female, old, young, infant etc. (with a sub set of pre-drawn characters of famous celebrities, particularly politicians which can be updated on the web by contributors)
2)A library of uniforms, or dress/apparel that I could superpose on these human character outlines.
3)A facility to exaggerate a chosen part of the anatomy, like nose length, belly size etc.
4)A library of facial expresssions like smiles, frowns, raised eyebrows expressing scorn, snobbishness, wide eyed expressions, sleepy, bored, angry, amused expressions etc that can be "applied" to any of the character outlines above.
5)A library of common objects like a chair, table, door, window, room, hall, car,   etc that can be chosen and assembled to create a background.
6)A facility to make a bubble/cloud and put some text in it and drag it into place.
7)And finally a few simple tools to tweak the assembly of shapes at the last minute for that special effect.
Armed with this software, I am willing to try becoming a cartoonist. I can then say what I want briefly and creatively.
Moreover since cartoonists are licensed to indulge in humour, readers may not be so easily offended by my attempts at humour when I write.
Why should I depend on words all the time ?
Any thoughts/opinions/suggestions/ leads or tips on this?